An affinity for solitude is comparable only to one’s affinity for certain
other people. And yet one’s first experience of solitude, like one’s first
experience of the other, is fraught with danger… The absence of the visible and
the absence of the object; and the risk, as in dreams, that innermost thoughts
will come to light. For this reason, perhaps, it is the phobia relating to
solitude that for some people persists throughout life.
[...]
It is the infant waiting too long for his mother that is traveling toward
death because, unattended, he is in the solitary confinement of his body.
Solitude is a journey, a potentially fatal journey, for an infant in the absence
of sufficient maternal care. But it is worth remembering that the infant in the
dark, the infant by himself, is not only waiting for the mother. Sleep, for
example, is not exclusively a state of anticipation. It is, of course, difficult
to conceive in psychoanalytic terms of an absence that is not, in some way,
anticipatory.
Through desire the child discovers his solitude, and through solitude his
desire. He depends upon a reliable but ultimately elusive object that can
appease but never finally satisfy him.
[...]
Adam Phillips (psihanalist) -
On Risk and Solitude
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